Let’s get one thing straight: I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to call myself an Expert Eye Roller. It is not a self-proclaimed title. It is a hard-earned credential.

It takes years of dedication, extreme patience, and a complete lack of a verbal filter to achieve this level of optical gymnastics. I’d like to take a moment to thank the specific people in my life who pushed me to greatness, because I couldn't have designed this without you.

 My Husband: For the times he stands in front of the open refrigerator, staring directly at the ketchup, and asks me where the ketchup is.

 My Sister-in-Law & Brother-in-Law: The absolute dynamic duo of testing my facial muscle restraint. Thank you for the unsolicited advice, the family updates, and the stories that make me silently stare at the ceiling and contemplate moving to a remote cabin in the woods.

 The "Quick Question" Callers: You are the real MVPs. You are the people who text, "Got 5 minutes?" and then proceed to hold me hostage on the phone for an entire hour. You force me to aggressively organize my junk drawer just to feel something while you talk without pausing for breath.

Eventually, rolling your eyes that hard becomes a safety hazard. I was starting to see my own brain.

So, I put it on a coffee mug and a shirt. Now, I don't even have to use my face to let you know how exhausted I am by the conversation. The gear does the talking for me.

If you also suffer from a severe lack of patience and a highly active optical nerve, welcome to the club. The uniform is available now.